Changes

I saw this on my social media feed today and I smiled because my partner in this crazy thing called life just a few months thanked me one day for this very thing. He turned to me and he said: “Thank you for loving me for me” I replied “well what am I supposed to love you for?” We both have had our share of failed relationships. He told me “you never once told me I needed to change this I needed to do more.” In our relationship we have this understanding if we are unhappy we do this crazy thing called talking about it. This wasn’t always an easy thing and in the beginning I did a lot more venting to my diary aka social media page because if we tried to talk it turned into a fight I couldn’t write it out to him because of his past relationships he said he hated that she would do that so it wasn’t an option it may have stifled my creativity some because writing had always been an emotional outlet for me and talking was hard I wouldn’t always say the right thing when you write you can edit when you speak not so much. His problem was he came from a home where every one just spoke over one another until the other party went silent the victor was basically he who was louder. I “lost” many an argument because I didn’t see the point in trying to scream my point across when it wouldn’t be heard. I eventually learned to pick my battles and wait until cooler heads were ready to speak like adults it took a while to learn those lessons but I did and when I did he was more accepting of what I had to say and I didn’t have to scream it out. I never tried to change him because I fell in love with who he was every imperfection even the things that infuriated me I love. The main reason I never tried to change him though was because I hated I still hate when people tell me to be more like X I will always say I am me I am not X if you want X you should have X here and not me. If I don’t want to be X who am I to try to force anyone else to be X? We are individuals we are our own people and if we all stopped trying to be X the world would be a happier place I think. My partner has made me a better person these last nine years together and I hope that I have done the same for him. If you are trying to change someone I suggest you go find X because no matter how hard you try to make them be X they will never be X. Do you know why? Its because no two people are the same. No one should have to change improve ALWAYS if we stop improving ourselves then we are not reaching our full potential but change I say NEVER. Have the courage to be YOU and be loving enough to accept the person you say you care about for who they are. If you can’t let them go now don’t force them into your idea of what they should be there will only be bitterness and resentment there as time goes on.  11403446_590203754456247_943269212656442842_n